She Couldn't Have It All
by sanskrits
Summary: In which Piper knows what she can't have - rather, who she can't have. One-shot.


Piper supposed she couldn't have it all.

She had respect among the campers, she was head counselor of the Aphrodite cabin, she'd broken the stereotype — she was part of the _Prophecy of Seven_ , for the sake of all the gods — Piper was a powerful, charmspeaking, Aphrodite camper, which was a first for many people besides maybe Drew.

And she was proud of it all; really, she was. Piper wasn't an ingrate in any way and she was grateful for all the respect and she was grateful for not being judged and she was happy to have a home that felt good, a home where she felt welcomed.

(But in this home, she wouldn't get what she _really_ wanted)

Seeing Percy and Annabeth, always so happy, and their relationship coming so easily… Piper was a daughter of the love goddess, and she could practically _feel_ the true, beautiful love radiating off of them, and she burned slightly in envy whenever she saw them have fluffy couple moments rich in pure emotion.

Piper burned in envy because that was something she could never have; Jason didn't really love her, not truly, she knew. And she didn't blame him at all. It wasn't his fault. But she couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness wash over her whenever she looked into Jason's clear, electric blue eyes — because she loved him and he never would.

Of course she never let it show, but she knew that Jason would never be happy with her, and Jason was with her out of sheer politeness, respectful son of Jupiter that he was. She wanted Jason to be happy, but Piper also wanted to be happy, and she wanted to be happy _with Jason_.

(But she knew she couldn't be; it wasn't like he loved her)

And Piper couldn't help but hate him a little for it; because she could never quite bring herself to tell him the words she knew that he longed to hear:

" _You should go_."

What she wanted was for Jason to be _her_ Jason — only hers — but he wouldn't be, not ever. She resented herself sometimes, for not being good enough, for not being a girlfriend that Jason could love.

" _You should go_ ," she should tell him. " _You should go_. _You don't need to stay_."

But she didn't want him to go. She wanted Jason to stay. She wanted Jason to love her.

He wouldn't, no matter how many times he told her " _I love you_." He never meant it. She wanted him to mean it.

Piper knew she was trapping Jason, caging the bird so it could never fly.

(But Jason could still fly — right? He didn't need wings)

She didn't mean to trap him, but she did. (She still is.) And the bird was a tame, polite, thing, who wouldn't rebel and would only hope one day its master would set it free. Piper was the master, and she didn't want to set her bird (her Jason) free.

And every kiss, beautiful as it seemed, was a little bit forced and a little twinged with a silent sort of sadness. She pretended not to notice, but she did.

(She was an Aphrodite girl, after all)

She thought back to a piece of advice her grandfather had given her long ago:

"If you love someone dearly, you should let them go. If they love you back, they will always come back to you."

She knew she'd have to do it, but she couldn't bring herself to; she knew Jason wouldn't come back to her, _and she wanted him to stay_. She was trapping him, ensnaring him in a cage built on politeness and Mist (their first kiss was nothing but _Mist_ ).

She wanted him to come back (or maybe never to leave) but she knew, oh, she knew he wouldn't always stay.

But knowing and understanding are two different things. Piper _knew_ Jason wouldn't stay, but she didn't _understand_ why he didn't love her.

(Love wasn't about understanding, she knew)

* * *

Sitting in an oh-so-horrific-Aphrodite-pink bed in the dead of night, pondering. She couldn't sleep; some images were burned into her mind sometimes and closing her eyes would bring them back, so she wouldn't close those eyes. She wouldn't let the demons in her win.

(But weren't they already winning? She was trapping her love, after all)

She thought about Jason, like always.

 _If you love someone dearly, you should let them go. If they love you back, they will always come back to you._

She wondered if she should do it; if she should let him go.

The harpies would get her, though, wouldn't they? She'd be punished...

(The harpies wouldn't care, she knew)

But her mind kept telling her:

 _If you love someone dearly, you should let them go. If they love you back, they will always come back to you._

She peered around the cabin — everyone was long since asleep. Sound sleepers had light consciences. She didn't have a light conscience, hence she was not a sound sleeper.

Her grandfather's voice rang in her mind.

 _If you love someone dearly, you should let them go. If they love you back, they will always come back to you._

She put her mind upon it, so she left, sure to make no sounds as to wake any of her half-siblings.

Stepping out into the darkness, she crept towards Cabin One, the Zeus cabin, whose sole occupant was Jason.

She looked at the wooden door, and raised her fist.

 _Knock, knock, knock_.

The door opened almost instantly, for Jason was also sleepless; war survivors often were. He looked beautiful as ever, with his blonde hair, blue eyes, and that cute scar over his lip.

But she wouldn't be distracted.

"Piper?" he asked in a sleepy voice.

"Yes, Jason, it's me," she said.

"Can't sleep?"

"No, I just need to talk to you."

"In the middle of the night?"

"Mm-hmm," she mumbled.

She took a deep breath, and started to speak, no charmspeak, just her:

"Jason, you don't need to stay with me."

 _If you love someone dearly, you should let them go. If they love you back, they will always come back to you._

"You should go, and you don't need to be trapped."

"I'm just holding onto a Mist-induced kiss, grasping on straws, when you're clearly being with me because you're polite, and I know, every time you tell me 'I love you' it's to please me, and you don't need to do that anymore."

Jason said nothing, and with that, Piper knew she was telling the truth.

"I've been with you so _I_ can be happy, but let me just tell you, Jason, _you deserve to be happy_."

 _If you love someone dearly, you should let them go. If they love you back, they will always come back to you._

"And I love you, so I'm going to let you go," she said, voice quavering slightly, but resolve still strong.

Jason nodded.

"Just know, I'm here for you, as a friend," he replied. "You're a good person, Piper, and I think you also deserve to be happy. I just don't think that happiness is with me."

He pulled her into a hug, and Piper felt his warmth. Piper knew, that for the first time, he meant what he was saying.

He meant it, and that was all she wanted.

Blinking back tears, she pulled away from him, and waved.

Smiling weakly, she said, "You're free, baby."

Then she shut the door gently behind her, and walked off into the inky darkness, toward the Aphrodite cabin. She climbed into her horrendous pink bed, and let the tears flow freely.

 _If you love someone dearly, you should let them go. If they love you back, they will always come back to you,_ her grandfather had said.

He didn't come back. He didn't love her back.

But Piper supposed she couldn't have it all.

* * *

 **A/N: Hey everyone!**

 **This is a sort of angsty Jiper thing... I just feel like Jason didn't really think about Piper too much the way Percy though about Annabeth.**

 **And I'm not sure if it's a good comparison, but I feel like Jason is not as considerate of Piper as he should be. That's just me, though, and I actually got the feels writing this. This story is just my take on Jiper, and how Piper might just be grasping onto a Mist-induced kiss a little too much. I do like the Jiper ship, but it's not really portrayed as well as I'd like it to be, and this is the result of what I think Piper would do when she realizes everything.**

 **I have no idea if this is good or not. This is my first fic on this site, that I'm actually publishing, so constructive criticism and feedback, or just a review in general is very appreciated.**

 **Thanks for reading,**

 **~readersarethebestwriters**


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